I love kids! No, honestly I do and I hope to have a couple of little rugrats running around in the near future. But I’m just gonna put it out there and say what we are all thinking sometimes. Not all kids are awesome and cute little nuggets, some kids are just a**holes. Go ahead, think that I am the most evil person in the world. But seriously people, you can’t tell me that you haven’t wanted to mention to an oblivious parent that their kid is a jerk and will grow up to be a leech on society. This may offend the sensibilities of a few parents far and wide but I don’t care because your kid was the one who was kicking the back of my chair nonstop during a four-hour flight. If that was me as a child I would have been back-handed and made to stand up for the rest of the flight. If I may quote a funny little puppet on You Tube named Whitney Williams, “you call it child abuse, I call it getting to the point!”. I tried to be nice, I tried to smile, I tried to extend the olive branch but to no avail so the kid got a taste of Trixie, the evil counterpart of my Gemini star sign. With eyes that would pierce the armor of a gallant knight of the round table, all it took was one look and I received the peaceful airplane ride that I sought.
You would think that a fantabulous vacation to Puerto Rico would have calmed me down enough to tolerate an adolescent maniac. But nope it didn’t, in fact, it made me understand that I don’t like everyone and I don’t have to like everyone. I probably don’t like the majority of people out there and I don’t act like I do either. If I am not a fan of you, you will most likely know it and if you don’t know it, I will probably tell you. I don’t think that is mean, I think it is just the opposite. Why fake it? What is the point? Why do you want to hang around a person that rubs you the wrong way so as not to offend them. Your doing yourself and them more harm than good cause your feeding into some sort of negativity that will fester until you have dreams that they will come to some untimely circumstance. No bueno! You shouldn’t end up wishing harm on anyone, it’s crazy bad Karma. And remember disliking someone is not the same as hating them. Hating gives the other person the power, it is an action verb after all. You have to actively hate someone and therefore expend your precious energy. Have I said I hate someone, of course I have! But then I am so lazy that I can’t be bothered in actively hating someone, therefore I usually just forget about them and go about living in my bizarro world that is tinted in purple, smells of apricots and faeries named BrownTom, Gump and Oona galavant around the forest.
Now for some gratuitous pictures of me in Puerto Rico!!! Come on admit it! You know you want to see what I do in my oh-so-exciting life besides dealing with the smell of old people gas and adult diapers.