Look what you’ve done to this rock & roll clown…

Classic Rewind on Sirius XM is my schiznit, I listen to it everyday.  A combo of music from the 70’s and 80’s = awesome.  But come on, when the hell did 80’s music cross over into the “classic” category.  Awww damn people!  It has officially happened i have become that over 30 person who starts to question how the hell time has passed.  NOOOOOO! That means I am well on my way to beginning sentences like “Those damn kids…” or “When I was your age…” .  Plus I will begin to talk about my bowel movements like they are international news and conjecture exactly why my poo is that color (must be the beets….). Such a shame.

But speaking of bowel movements!  I am on Day 10 of my sugar detox and I have to admit, I cheated.  SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE and don’t judge me.  It was bar snacks dammit, they get your every time.  I was sitting at a bar with my friend drinking my water with lemon and being an overall superb model of the sugar detox.  Then it happened, a bowl of fresh mixed nuts with rice crackers and wasabi peas entered my periphery. It was all over.  Wasabi peas and honey roasted cashews entered my mouth  with the lightening speed and reckless abandon likened to a crackhead chasing after a mythical rock ten feet in diameter.  But at the moment I took it for what it was….DELICIOUS!

Fast forward to today.  I feel like a hot steaming pile of the aformentioned poo.  I have a serious headache, am a little nauseous, my brain is slightly foggy and the receptionist downstairs must think I have a drug problem from running to the bathroom so much.  Guess what was a bad idea.

Do not, I repeat, do not do that to yourself!  Just try it and your ass will be just as raw as mine, although I do recommend moist flushable wipes.  What TMI? Oh I’m soooo sorry, but you should take this warning as serious as you do a warning from the Surgeon General!

Lesson learned, sugar is mine enemy for now.

SIDE NOTE: You know how impossible it is to find bacon without sugar in it!! Yes I’m mad! I love turkey bacon, regular bacon, beef bacon.  If it says bacon on it, i’m eatin’ it!  If I would not be checked into a mental institution i might wear bacon a la Lady Gaga….or did she wear steak? Well, whatever, she had the right idea.  But on the serious tip, they put sugar in everything so check your labels!




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